Birthday and 30 Week Appointment

23. I don't feel any older...but I think a big part of that is because I still don't feel old enough to be a mom. I remember telling Ben..."I'll be 23 when we have our first baby. That seems pretty reasonable." Ha. I didn't take into account the fact that I don't think I will EVER feel old enough or ready enough to be a mom. Sorry...rant over. My birthday was pretty quiet this year. My dad was out of state for drill, and my mom was in Utah. Kyle went with Ben and me to lunch, as Jessica was in school. The day after, Ben and I took a day a went to Tri-cities. We went to the temple and did sealings, then walked around the mall. Granted...very slowly, and sitting on just about every bench we came across.

So, on to Brooklynn... my 30 week appointment went well. I needed below a 120 to pass my second glucose test, and I got a 103. Dr. Utley made sure to remind me to take it easy during these last few weeks. He told me to call the instant I may experience any signs of preterm labor...don't ignore anything. In other words, be safe rather than sorry.

This time, Brooke was transverse...not really breech, but not too far off either. I measured behind on my fundal height again, even smaller than my 28 week appointment where I measured dead on for my gestational age. This is all directly related to her differing positions in my uterus, but I can tell he's slightly concerned about not getting accurate measurements on me. He told me that Brooke doesn't have much time left to get into position. The longer she waits to do so, the bigger she gets, in turn making it harder for her to move around....meaning the more likely I'll have a c-section. I can't even attempt a vaginal delivery if she isn't head down because it's too dangerous to physically manipulate her.

While it's nice to finally hear some of the thoughts going through his head...it's a little scary to know that the fact he's saying anything at all is because of the high risk of it actually happening. A total double edged sword.

I'll try to keep this updated as I have more appointments. she could come within the next 4-7 weeks (most likely). Yikes...talk about a reality check. Here are pictures of my baby bump.


20 Weeks Pregnant

30 Weeks Pregnant

Long needed update...

Okay, I'm back. If you couldn't tell from the new decor...we are expecting a baby GIRL!!!! We've decided to name her Brooklynn Marie, and we can't wait to meet her!

So far, it's been a fairly difficult pregnancy, and I've neglecting my blog because I've not really wanted to talk about it. But I now I feel okay to talk about a few of my issues, so here it goes. While certain medical issues have taken a back seat, new and "exciting" ones have taken their place. My RA has all but completely subsided during the pregnancy. There was one electrical storm in July that really had me hurting for about 48 hours, but other than that I have been very blessed to have only 2 joint (L knee and R shoulder) give me any amount of trouble. My Rheumatologist says that it's a good sign, and we will just keep our fingers crossed that the typical 3 month postpartum flare up will be minor.

I had horrible nausea and vomiting, to the point of hyperemesis. Not even Zofran touched it some days. That lasted WELL into the pregnancy, and I only started getting relief after about 20 weeks, with most of it gone by 24. However, once the hyperemesis was out of the picture, heartburn set it. I have never experienced heartburn, and have always prided myself with my ability to eat spicy, cultural foods. Sadly, I can't eat the deliciously fried and spicy foods that I crave. Tums didn't touch it, and I now take Zantac 150. Ahhh...I love that stuff! Hopefully it continues to work throughout the remainder of my pregnancy.

My septum makes me more on the high risk side. I already knew that, but I guess I really didn't know how high risk I actually am. My doctor is more of a "we'll cross that bridge when we get there" kind of guy, and while it makes for a stress free appointment, it drives me kinda crazy because I like to know all the details. Never once has he used the terms "high risk" or "C-section" even though I know he's thinking about it. Never worried me about preterm labor, or gestational diabetes. Nothing. During my 26 week appointment, I made a passing comment to him about spending some time in Utah for my baby shower and a family get together. I got the worst stink eye, EVER. He told me that while he couldn't forbid me to go, I, in no way, had his blessing, because he was afraid that I could go into pre-term labor while in Utah, and be hundreds of miles away from him and his staff who have a birth plan in place for me. Well, that did it. I didn't go to Utah, and canceled my baby shower. Sorry about that by the way.

After my 26 week appointment, I took my 1 hour glucose test. I didn't have a problem getting the sickly sweet orange drink down....it was keeping it down that got to me. I was planning on walking around while I waited for the blood draw, but after 20 minutes, I was about to pass out. After Ben took me home and helped me relax for the remaining time, I was feeling a bit better. As soon as I stood up to go to the clinic, I immediately felt like I was going to pass out again. Ben helped me to the car, and before we could even make it out of our parking lot, I had to jump out of the car and vomit in the bushes. Nice, right? After driving the 60 seconds to the clinic, they took my blood and sent me on my way, but I had a horrible feeling I was going to fail. Sure enough, bright and early the next morning, I got the call. I failed my test. Great. So after talking with the nurse and explaining that I couldn't keep down the 50cc drink for an hour, there was no way I could keep down the 100cc drink for three hours unless they let me lie on a bed and have the tech come to me. Since there really isn't an option for that at my clinic, I am now doing the Jelly Bean test. I have to eat 20 of the Brach's jelly beans in under 2 minutes, then get my blood drawn at the 2 hour mark and pray it's below 120. We'll see how that one goes.

On a positive note, Brooklynn was head down at my last appointment (28 weeks), and all on my right side. So at least she is capable of getting into position at this point. Today, she was back in her favorite spot....feet up one side, head up the other, bum squarely on my cervix. I had to laugh with Ben at my last appointment, because my regular OB was out of town, so I had to see his associate. She is much more...frank...about my condition. Haha. There was a brand new student nurse shadowing, and as soon as I explained my medical history, the doctor turned to the nurse and started rambling off statistics of preemies, c-sections, and all sorts of complications. It's a very good thing I already knew this information, or I would have been totally taken back. (As I said before, my doctor is very go with the flow...)

So now we are just waiting. The goal is to get to October 13th, which is the 34 week mark. After that, I don't care when she comes....I just don't want her before that. I have only gained about 13 pounds so far in the pregnancy, (and as my doctor told me, I have a long torso and wide, baby bearing hips) so I'm really not very big. I don't have any belly pictures since my 20 week one, so I will have to do that soon. I have not been very good about that. I end up feeling too crummy to have my picture taken. I will try to be better about updating the blog, but to be honest, I probably won't be any better until Brooke gets here and I feel like I have something exciting to post about! Love you all!!!

What's Cooking?

During the past year, I have experienced so many emotions. Hope. Fear. Love. Sadness. Happiness. Insanity. Appreciation. Devastation. Excitement. Disappointment. I have been to the point of elation, and to the point where the only thing keeping me going was the love of my Father in Heaven. I know that some of the things that I am about to write are going to hurt people. I know, because I've been there. I've experienced the feelings and emotions you are feeling. I do not apologize for what I have been blessed with. I am, however, truly sorry that this post will add to your pain.

I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember, but I really started getting baby hungry at 17. After Ben and I got married, I knew that having kids right then wasn't the path we were supposed to take, but that realization nearly killed me. Ask Ben...taking birth control was a very difficult task for me. I opted for the shot every three months, just so I could deal with the emotional roller-coaster as little as possible. When the shot gave me such horrible migraines that I couldn't function, I had to switch to the pills. It was a daily battle. I had to psych myself up all day long, just to take that teeny tiny pill. I cried after the swallow every single day. I was an emotional wreck. Ben was awesome. He would just hold me, and tell me that this was a temporary pain, and the Lord would let us know when it was time to start trying.

We knew we were going to start trying no later that 2 years into the marriage. We had prayed about that, and felt very comfortable with that decision. However, a little before our first anniversary, we found my septum, and the doctor told us to start trying to get pregnant. We were excited to get started, but nervous because this was NOT in the plan. I am a control freak, so it took some adjustment to come to terms with that. However, a couple months after we started trying, we really started to feel like this was the Lord's plan for us. This was HIS way of getting things done, and we were just along for the ride.

Trying to conceive took a heavy toll on us...me specifically. Since I didn't ovulate at all. I knew the problem was my fault. I felt like I was holding Ben back from reaching his potential, and I began feeling depressed. I remember at one point, I was counting all the names of people I knew who were pregnant, or had just had a baby...I quit counting at 55 because I couldn't handle it anymore. Every time I heard someone was pregnant, I bawled my eyes out. While I was happy for them deep down, I just couldn't get past my sorrow, and my jealousy. I hated hearing "We weren't even trying". Ugh. Those words cut SO deep. I wondered what I had done that was so bad, I couldn't have the one thing I wanted more than anything else.

I received a blessing in the fall, stating that if I would put my whole heart into my calling at church, the Lord would bless me with the desires of my heart. Crazy thing was, I didn't have a calling at that point in time. I thought it was weird, but just went with it. I continued to have blessings that said the EXACT same thing. Nothing changed in wording or meaning.

The next month, I was called to be a Visiting Teaching Supervisor for my ward. As soon as I was set apart, I received the list of who I had, and started the calls to see who had completed the visiting teaching for the month. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great either. Several women had not been contacted, so I got to work for the next month. I prayed with all my might that I would know how to fill my calling to the best of my capacity. The month of February came and went, and as I called my ladies, I started to cry with gratitude and excitement. The first call..."We visited all our sisters this month!" The second call..."We visited all our sisters this month!" The third call..."We visited all our sisters this month!" This continued with each call until every one on my list had been called, and I put a big "V" for visited by every sister on my list. As I prayed, thanking Heavenly Father for the experience I had just had, I received that strong yet quiet reassurance that the Lord knew what I had accomplished. He knew, that I put my whole self into this calling, and I had done what I had set out to do. Turns out, I ovulated the beginning of March, right after all my sisters had been contacted, and right before I emailed my coordinator with my list.

I realize that "scientifically speaking" the Clomid is what caused me to ovulate, but statistically, it shouldn't have worked THIS well on the first try for me.

Yes, I am pregnant. After a year of trying, with so many ups and even more downs, I am finally pregnant! I am exactly 9 weeks today, and the baby looks perfect! I am still at an increased risk for miscarriage, but I am satisfied. I CAN get pregnant. After so much wondering by me, my family, and my doctors...we know that I am able to get pregnant and sustain that pregnancy, at least so far, that is the case.

My oven has been on pre-heat for a year, and I am so excited it is finally cooking something! So in answer to What's Cooking? Baby Stott is cooking, and we can't wait to meet him or her!

This is our little nugget at 9 Weeks!!

Two Whole Years!!

So Saturday was our Two Year Anniversary. We are still a little in shock over it! It feels like just yesterday we walked into the Logan Temple to be sealed for Time and All Eternity. And yet, at the same time, it feels like it was forever ago. So much has changed. Being completely reliant on one another, coming to a better understanding of what we want out of this life, realizing the difference between wants and needs, and SO much more! I feel like a totally different person than the Me from two years ago. And Ben has changed so much too, but not really in the ways I would have expected. I guess that goes for me too though.

While it has been a great two years, I could have never imagined the struggle that we have had to overcome. They haven't been fun, but they've made us stronger, and closer to Heavenly Father. My health issues, our struggle/inability to get pregnant, the poor economy in which we started our lives together, school upsets, loss of jobs, it has all been tough, but I wouldn't trade it in. I love Ben so much, and I couldn't imagine my life without him. Some days I don't feel like I deserve him, and yet, for some crazy reason, he still loves me...even after getting to know every facet of my personality inside and out. I am so grateful for a husband who is a worthy priesthood holder, who makes it a point to include Heavenly Father in our relationship, who works so hard for our little family, and who truly loves me for me. I love you Hun! Happy Anniversary! Two Years down, Eternity to go!

A lot on my plate

Okay, sorry I haven't updated. I'll let you in on a little secret. Clomid is not fun. Having pregnancy symptoms when you aren't pregnant...totally not fun. Cramps, bloating, nausea, acne, hot flashes, emotional swings that drive me crazy...and though he hasn't said anything, I'm sure they drive Ben crazy too. If I need to take Clomid to get pregnant, than you better believe that I'm going to take Clomid, but I don't have to like it. Granny pointed out today that I have had worse acne in the past month and a half, than I did throughout my entire teenage years! I cry my eyes out over the dumbest things, and then 5 minutes later, I'm as happy as a lark. Ugh. It really is driving me nuts!! Oh, and to top it off, I currently have pneumonia. So it's all these symptoms plus not being able to breath. Hopefully these antibiotics work soon!!!!

Okay, that's my rant. Now onto fun stuff. Brad is marrying this AWESOME girl, Erin, May 8th. I was commissioned to do all the flowers for the wedding/reception/everything. I am SOOOOO grateful that Rianne Jones offered to help me out. Two heads are totally better than one. I just told her what I was thinking, and then she helped me actually pull it off. Man I love that girl!!! I would have NEVER gotten as far as I have without her!! Jessica also helped out a ton! She was right there if we needed leaves painted, or if we needed a certain flower retrieved, cut, etc, she was right there to do it! She made the whole process go 100 times faster!! Now we are more than 50% done with the flowers.

The next thing I have to worry about, the cake. Yes. I am doing the cake. AHHHH!!!! I am really nervous about this one! The nice thing is, we still have the cake from my wedding as a backup if I screw up too badly!! Hahaha.

Let's see, what else is new. Ben had a lead part in a musical, and did a FABULOUS job!! I am so stinking proud of him! He was Barnaby in Hello Dolly, just in case anyone was wondering, or didn't see his performance. My mom, of course, took over 1000 pictures over the 3 performances. Everyone kept saying they expected me to be performing right there with him, but I don't do so well in front of people. I get stage fright sooooo bad...it's ugly. Plus, I just don't think I have the voice for it.

Well, I think that's it for now. See ya!!

The Strong Saints of Haiti!!!

I received this in an email, and it was too good not to share! Please keep Haiti in your prayers. The members of the Haitian community need all the Divine assistance they can get!! I am so thankful to be a member of the true gospel of Jesus Christ! Blessings and miracles happen every day, all around us. Is there any doubt that the Lord loves His children, members of our faith or not, and that he watches over and protects them? I say there is not! Yes, there is darkness, devastation, heartbreak, loss, and sorrow, but there is also light, hope, love, improvement, and happiness. I have faith that the people of Haiti will overcome this trial. They will become strong in their afflictions, with a powerful conviction in Christ.

I think I'll leave you with my favorite scripture, as I feel it fits.

Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-11
7. My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
8. And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.
9. Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.
10. Thou art not yet as Job; thy friends do not contend against thee, neither charge thee with transgression, as they did Job.
11. And they who do charge thee with transgression, their hope shall be blasted, and their prospects shall melt away as the hoar frost melteth before the burning rays of the rising sun;

Please open your hearts as you read the remainder of this post, and I know it will touch and enrich you. And if you would like me to email you a copy of this so that you may keep the hope going, just leave me your email!
~Jamie



Photography by Scot Facer Proctor

Maurine and Scot Proctor, Meridian's editor and publisher, are currently in Haiti with 125 LDS medical, construction and translation volunteers from Utah.



Much of Haiti lies in rubble. Collapsed roofs lie at angles, smashed against the floor below them. Cinder blocks slant in heaps along the roads. Some streets in Port-au-Prince look like old pictures of bombed-out Berlin after World War II. It's a horror, an apocalypse.



Yet, amidst a shoddy neighborhood stands a jewel, the Croix-des-Missions LDS church and sounding through the air is a hymn: How Firm a Foundation.



It is a particularly well-chosen song in a land whose physical foundations could not stand the earth's tremors, but whose Latter-day Saints have proven to be remarkably resilient. They know that though all but a handful have lost their homes, their foundation is in the gospel of Jesus Christ and that is firm.



Attending the 3-hour church block on Sunday felt remarkably normal to us. There were the Saints dressed well, many in crisp, white shirts that looked newly ironed. The deacons wore their white shirts and ties as they reverently passed the sacrament.



How can this be? Without homes, they are living on the street in hastily-assembled, makeshift shelters on any flat land that is available. Their walls may be sheets hung over ropes or pieces of cardboard. Their beds are concrete or hard earth. Everything they owned-and that already wasn't much-has been stripped from them by an initial quake that lasted about 45 seconds and after shocks that continued for days.



Haiti, right now and for the foreseeable future, is a land sleeping out. People fill the church's courtyards at night-and instead of woe, they laugh and talk. They have shanties on the median strip between two lanes of riotous traffic.



We asked member after member, how can you be so beautifully groomed on Sunday, given your conditions? They answered that because most everyone is now living in the street, they are indeed dirty during the week, plagued by all the ills that befalls a newly-made street person, but, they added that though they had no water to drink, they had water good enough to wash their clothes.


So there they were singing about what really is their firm foundation and looking like any other LDS congregation across the world-except they are homeless.

Their Lessons and Talks



That is not all. Their lessons and talks were sophisticated and scripturally based, as if they had a library and computer at their fingertips to prepare instead of the side of the road.



The sacrament meeting began with strains of "Come, come ye Saints, no toil, nor labor fear, but with joy wend your way." For most of us who come from other nations, we would be hard-pressed to find joy in impoverished and broken Haiti before the earthquake, let alone now, but they sang like they meant it, "Happy day, all is well."



They prayed, "We are all thankful to be counted among the living. We are grateful to know of thy truth. There are many outside the walls of this church who do not have this truth to sustain them through the trials. We know we were kept alive because we have a mission to complete. Bless us all that we can be strong and take care of each other."



We listened tearfully. The sacrament was passed and each of the seven children sitting on the row next to us took not a single piece of bread but a scoop each. They are hungry.



Then we heard a talk, a surprising, enriching talk from France Nathalie Desir-so beautifully done.
She told the audience:
"For some of the adversity we face, we can place the weight on our own shoulders because we are not obeying God's laws. That adversity we can control, but there are some kinds of adversity we can't control like the earthquake. We didn't do anything to attract it. We all had friends and families who were killed. A lot of people are discouraged and have lost faith, but we as members of the Church now have a mission.



"We know why we have adversities. They are to make us stronger. We have the freedom to either let them overcome us or to make us strong. Just as we send little children to school, the Lord has sent us here for a school.



"Our big enemy is our pride that keeps us from loving our neighbour and obeying the commandments.Since January 12, we all have experienced sleeping outside. As I was lying in the courtyard looking up at the stars, I knew this was the time to manifest charity and mourn with those who mourn, give food to those who need food.



"We have a certain joy, and the joy is knowing these things are temporary. The trials we are given on earth are for us, and the Lord knows everything we are going through and they are to augment our faith and bring us to God."

Primary and Youth



The primary children at the ward were as happy, giggly and bright as any children in the world-maybe more so.



Their lesson was on the plan of salvation and the teacher talked to them-just as you'd think-about the premortal, mortal world, paradise and resurrection, complete with the traditional hand in the glove to describe what happens when we are born and when we die. You can see them here.











The lessons for the youth were very much like those for the adults



We must be strong in this time of adversity. We must reach out with love to those who are discouraged.

Home Teaching



Francy Saint-Preux, the High Priest group leader for the ward, said doing home teaching is ten times harder than it used to be because people are no longer in their homes and sleeping somewhere on the street, but after the quake they made every effort to assure that everyone was safe. Temporal needs are difficult to meet because they are so overwhelming and every priesthood leader is inundated. They'll do anything to help, but there are some things they just can't do.
Francy said, "The island is in disarray from top to bottom."
He noted, "One of the first things I had to do as a leader in the high priests is to restore confidence in the members. I remind them that the important things are still intact. Your kids are safe. You have the gospel. I encourage people to focus on staying close to God.
"What we teach the members is the gospel," he said. Our gospel is simple--pray, read your scriptures, pay your tithing and work. Do everything you can to work. Even the solution to a temporal problem is a spiritual one. Get back to the basics."

Meet the Members



We are here in Haiti with 70 Haitian-speaking missionaries who are assisting in translating for medical teams and food delivery. At the airport before we left, we asked several of them why their loyalty and love for the Haitian people was so intense. Richard Clawson, a former missionary summed it up: "I met so many people in Haiti who are friendly and wonderful, but I also met a number of people in Haiti who I would aspire to be if I can. I met people who were role models to me."
Watching them deal with this devastating crisis, you can see what he means. Meet some of the members:

Guerby Pierre



Guerby Pierre is one of those exceptional people in Haiti who actually has a job. He is well-educated and has a job as an accountant with a billboard company. He tells what happened to him when the earthquake hit:
"The things I saw during the earthquake are forever engraved on my memory. You see things in disaster movies, but it is nothing like when it happens in real life, and I cannot ever forget it.



"I was inside at my work, working at my computer, at what seemed like a normal day. Then, all of a sudden with a roaring noise, it seemed like a giant beast had taken the building in his arms and was twisting and shaking it back and forth. My screen fell off my desk; bookshelves started falling, and I ran for the door, but could hardly keep my footing with the shaking. As I stood at the door, the wall I had been leaning against before completely collapsed.
"It is so different when you experience this in real life. People think of the great earthquakes in 3rd Nephi. People outside thought it was the Second Coming.



"My work is destroyed. That was my livelihood. I went to my house and it is completely gone, but I was able to go in and get the things that really mattered to me-my temple recommend, my passport, some clothes and my scriptures."
He held up his battered scriptures at that moment, the gilt-edged pages long ago worn away, and we asked him, "Did that happen to your scriptures during the earthquake?"
He just smiled back and said, "No, I really love my scriptures and I use them all the time."
The day before the earthquake a tune started wafting through Guerby's mind. Again and again it came and stayed with him through the day. He realized that the words were "The Lord my pasture will prepare, and guard me with a shepherd's care."
He was so impressed with the message that returned again and again to him, that he wrote down the words to the hymn and sent them in a note to his sweetheart. The next day the meaning was still in his soul as his world was hurled apart, and he knew that no matter what happened, the Lord had already sent him a message of comfort.
Now, Guerby is sleeping outside in a tent every night. The way he looks at it is his first job is to take care of his friends and other members of the Church. Even if he doesn't have a lot of money he can strengthen them. His second job as an accountant is gone, so he has more time for his first job.
Some things are really hard. It is hard to think that after working hard to become college-educated that he might be back to shining shoes to get enough money to live on. And it's hard not to have a home. He misses the feeling of something comfortable and recognizable to come back to at night.
He's holding on. He had saved a little money. He got some food and shoes from the bishop.



Each night as he lays under the stars, it reminds him of what is really important in life. He said, "In one sense I have nothing, but in another, I have everything because I have the gospel, and this earthquake has only augmented my testimony. My life is changed. The earthquake simplified it. Since the earthquake, I could all of a suddenly think clearly."
Gone are certain things he thought were really important. Instead, he is hoping to find a way to take his best friend and sweetheart to the temple to be married.
"Life can be hard sometimes," he says, "but it will be OK."

Charles Marie Murielle

"When the earthquake happened, I was inside my house. I had just come from school because I am studying to be a nurse. There was a professor who was absent, so I came home early.
"I was just taking off my uniform when the earthquake started. I heard the noise and felt the earthquake and thought to myself, this is an earthquake.



"After it stopped, I found myself, I was yelling, but I had a strong feeling I shouldn't leave my house. I should just stay there. I went to open my door to go out, and my door was blocked, I couldn't open it.
"I said a sincere prayer. I told the Lord that I was not ready to die. I don't have a family, yet, and I haven't been to the temple. With a lot of strategy I was able to open the door by myself.



"Outside, everyone was crying and screaming out to God, 'What is going on?' The farther I got out, I saw that churches had fallen and people had been killed.
"My school which is four stories tall had collapsed and all the students and teachers had been killed. I would have been there if my teacher had not shown up.
"All communications were cut off. No radio. No telephone. No one knew what was going on. We were all trying to find an open space. We kept hearing instructions, "Don't go inside. Don't go inside."
"From time to time the earth would shake again. I was continually scared. I was the only member of the Church nearby, and I felt like I was alone. People from other religions were making a lot of noise and were screaming. I found myself in silence because the Spirit told me exactly what to do. I knew it was not the end of the world.



"I prayed, 'Give me strength so that I can hold on.' I found the strength to help a few people who were injured. I found a lot of people who were in shock. The next day I met a brother from the church who came to my house to see if I was OK. He told me I needed to come to the church that all of the members were meeting there. That gave me strength.
We asked her what the future holds for her without money or a house or a school. She said she is determined to find a way to finish her nursing, but for now, she lives at the church and she's scared to go back to her house. Maybe she will make cookies to sell.

Erick Goimbert

Erick had just picked his son up from school and gone home when the house started hurling back and forth with roaring, pounding, confusing noises. A dresser hit the wall and whipped around and hit him in the eye. Then pieces of the roof began crashing down, and he ran into the other room to get his son.



They didn't try to get out, as it was hard to stand, impossible to walk. They just started praying. He did not know it was an earthquake as he had never experienced anything so overwhelming before.
When they finally made their lurching way out of the house, he saw that all the houses around him were completely destroyed and his neighbors had been killed.



Now, he and his family are sleeping wherever they can find a spot at night, mostly in the road by their house. He'd like to come and sleep at the church, but his home is too far away.
He has no tent, but sleeps under some corrugated tin cover. Every morning he doesn't know where to get food. He just waits day to day for help. Like most Haitians, he doesn't have a job, and his wife just sells things in the street.
Among his slim possessions are a few Tylenol pills for when his back, hit by the dresser in the quake, hurts too much.



He says with some good cheer, "Everybody is praying. There is definitely a feeling of unity and my testimony has been strengthened. You drive through my neighbourhood and mine was the only house that is not completely destroyed.
What for the future? He sees no possibilities to rebuild a house. He has no money and can't see where he could possibly get any.

Polycarpe Macking

The day of the earthquake, two of his children had just come home from school and were watching television. He was out in the front yard feeding the chickens, their main source of livelihood.



About 4:45, he started to feel the shaking movement. Immediately his children ran outside as the roaring, pitching earth got worse. As soon as they ran outside, the house collapsed.
They knelt down and, crying, said a prayer for his wife and other daughter, asking that they would be safe. They found her quickly for which he was grateful.



Now, he doesn't know what he's going to do. "God must have a plan for me," he said, "and I'm just going to have to see what it is."



The scriptures are his life and he loves to read.
A vibrant young man, he still hasn't had a job for seven years, and the few chickens they had were crushed or scattered in the earthquake. For now, they are sleeping in their yard. They have no money to rebuild.

Group Photograph



We couldn't help ourselves in wanting to show the amazing light and joy in the faces of the Haitian Saints here in the Croix-des-Missions Ward in Port-au-Prince.



The bishop announced in the meeting that we would all gather after their sacrament meeting (sacrament was last) and have a group picture of the ward. He said he wanted all the children and youth and everyone to come. Some of the investigators who were there on this day asked if they should be a part of this picture. We said, "Of course you are a part of this!"



We then told our translators to instruct them to do something we learned from then President David Bednar at BYU-Idaho. We told them to hold up their scriptures high and let us see them.



We saw every variety of scriptures, manuals and hymnbooks go up into the air.



Many of the children wanted to gather for their own group picture.
Their faces captured it all.
--
This is a glimpse of the members of the Croix-des-Missions ward after the earthquake. It's good they can sing "Happy day, all is well," because like the handcart pioneers of old they have nothing but God's help and the help of his children to see them through.

Pre-Clomid Jitters

So I know it's 2 am, but I can't sleep, so I figure I'll blog. I take my first Clomid pill today. I picked up the meds after my haircut yesterday, expecting to pay an arm and a leg for it, since most insurance doesn't cover it. I had to pick up some medication for recurrent UTI's (the joy of my life), but due to the fact that I am constantly buying Macrobid and Cipro, I already knew how much that was going to cost. When the pharmacist said 29 whatever, I thought that I had missed the "1" before the 29, so I had him repeat the price...twice! The Clomid cost me a grand total of 14.99! Needless to say, I was very happy, and the pharmacist laughed at my goofy squeal of excitement over the price.

With starting the Clomid today, I almost feel like we are deciding to get pregnant for the first time all over again. I guess I didn't think about it as much when I knew I wasn't ovulating. I figured it it happened, it happened. Now, I feel more pro-active in the decision again. Don't get me wrong, I am VERY excited and more than ready to move forward, I just found myself freaking out a little bit this week! Ben and I know that this is the right path for us to take at this time, but it can get a little intimidating when you really start to think about the responsibility, price tag, and eternal consequences/rewards of starting a family. Once you have a kid, you can't just take it back for a refund if you aren't ready. I had Ben give me a blessing, and I felt so much better. I can't even begin to explain how thankful I am that Ben is a worthy priesthood holder!

Oh, and just so no one freaks out, I won't tell whether I am pregnant or not until the end of the first trimester. My chance of miscarriage is so ridiculously high, I want to make sure we are in the clear before I go blabbing to the world that I am pregnant, and start the rumor mill going! The Clomid will most likely give me pregnancy-like symptoms which I will talk about, but please don't assume anything, because I really won't tell, and I'd rather not lie. As time goes on, I will post things like the baby names we have already decided on, or new ones that may replace them, pictures of baby stuff (and mommy stuff) that we are looking at, and what goes on during the doctors appointments. I figure it will be a good way to get frustrations off my chest, and hopefully get ideas and encouragement from other friends and moms.

Well, I am now officially blabbing, so I will stop typing now! Hahaha! Good night all, and let the adventure begin!

Jamie